This post is going to be a little more in-depth than the usual 400 - 600 words, because it touches on some key points that all Lightworkers/Starseeds need to cognize. It will allow you to identify energy vampires quickly so you don’t lose a day/week/month/year in a relationship that is completely unhealthy.
So, I have re-entered the world of finance after 6 months distancing myself from 3D. I connected with a former employer of mine, who was just after completing a Shirodhara (an oil massage that is extremely therapeutic in terms of calming the mind). I saw her higher aspects and, though she had quite pronounced illusions, felt that I had more than enough space to deal with it.
Unfortunately, it turned out that she learned nothing from her retreat, and, upon reentering 3D, all of her old complexes came back. It’s similar to how we go to heaven in dreamtime and the 3D programs get reactivated when we wake up - automatically and compulsively. Like we learned nothing at all.
So, just to be blunt and to avoid all of the typical Lightworker bullshit about 'space' and 'compassion' and 'inner inquiry' for a moment. This woman is a complete and utter energy drain. I feel terrible after every call with her. So does everybody else I have talked to. She treats people like dirt and, from what I can see, her life is falling apart.
Clients are very unhappy, co-workers are unhappy, partners are unhappy, contractors are unhappy, her personal assistants are especially unhappy. It’s a karmic cycle for her and despite the fact that I have gone far above and beyond expectations, she wants more. That’s just her state of mind, to always want more and never be content, because her mind is controlling her.
The issue with the majority of Lightworkers in this situation is that they have ideas about space, empathy, compassion, and inner inquiry. All of these are wonderful intrinsic qualities to have. But not when you are dealing with an energy vampire where cords need to be cut - QUICKLY!
Lightworkers will constantly say things like ‘how am I attracting this’ or ‘how can I find resonance with this person’ or ‘how can I give this person more space’. But when you are in an energy vampire situation, these teachings are the problem.
In my case, I have actually attracted somebody with polar opposite qualities. I like to treat people well and to always respect their personal space. This is my number one value - space/emptiness. I also decide something and rarely change my mind, while she changes her mind by the hour (it’s impossible to satisfy a mind that is not consistent with itself. What it wants today, it won’t want tomorrow).
And so, after 2.5 weeks, I am cutting the cord with this energy vampire, and making no bones about it. When I was a much weaker person, I would continually redirect the blame towards myself, and would probably stay in this relationship for about 3 - 6 months, suffering needlessly.
As a result of my blunt words and the blunt words of others, she will finally come to the point where she needs to do some self-inquiry. She will then start to become more compassionate and empathetic towards people. Right now, she is acting as a toxin that poisons everybody she meets on an energetic level. Her actions and lack of integrity hurt every single person she meets. Her Dark Night Of The Soul is a good thing, because it is the only way she will become reflective, as a positive contributor instead of net detractor from the wider community.
The people she deals with, on the other hand, have polar opposite lessons. To quickly identify energy vampires before engaging with them, and to cut them off ruthlessly once identified. Now is not the time to be indulge energy vampires in their fantasies.
Core traits of energy vampires:
Project blame everywhere and never take responsibility - it’s always your fault.
Very good at making excuses but almost never fulfills promises or obligation.
Never look at the results of their actions in the outer environment - if every one of their relationships have failed, it's always because of the other person.
Always contradicting themselves and never consistent. They want you to do one thing, then another, then blame you for the first thing they told you to do.
Completely mentally identified. Ungrounded, shallow breath, not connected to nature. Cannot survive by themselves so need to manipulate others.
Relationships tend to be quite short, and parasitical in nature.
After they have abused you/stolen your energy, they will then often finish up with a false positive statement (how are your kids doing, we should meet sometime, thank you for all of your hard work, etc).
The last point is particularly powerful. Because empaths love this kind of thing and always want to ‘see the highest’ in people, they find it difficult to spot the manipulation. They also find it difficult to simply tell people to F*** Off, even when that person is clearly an energy vampire! That’s because they tend to second guess themselves and can be too open minded.
What if you simply read the person correctly in the first 15 seconds, and all the rest was you just doubting what you already knew in that initial knowing? This is often the case, because the Empath does not trust herself fully.
Energetics do not lie. If somebody makes you feel toxic, there’s a good reason for it. Your 'shadow work' is to cut toxic ties and move on. That's it.
Pro Tip: If you want to know how trustworthy a person is, see if they can show up on time. If they are continually late or rescheduling, they are lying to themselves and are engaged in self deception. This is one of the most reliable and basic tips you can ever hear. People reveal themselves in the most basic and smallest of actions - it's the mind that makes excuses for them.
When people agree to a contract and break it, then it means they are not true to themselves. If somebody agrees to meet you at 10:00 and does not show up until 10:45, you know quite a lot about them. If you can’t trust them to meet you for lunch, why would you do millions of dollars in business with them? Bigger things are simply smaller things, magnified.
Of course, as a Lightworker, you will simply ‘forgive’ them their lateness, refusing to see the obvious, and believing yourself compassionate. True Compassion is seeing things clearly, acting truthfully, but not in anger or judgment. If you bypass straight to non-anger non-judgement, you will have to repeat lessons. Forgiveness is best done with cord cutting and clarity. Note the difference:
I forgive you, and so you are free to continually parasite from my energy with your greed and laziness.
I forgive you completely, and now I let you go forever from my reality because you are not attuned to high vibration and tend to suck the life out of everybody you meet.
Which one would you prefer?