I have accidentally stumbled across something that is so important for healthy relationships. Given that life consists of relationships, these 5 love languages are essential for your overall well being, joy, and happiness.
This is not something I would normally talk about, and I only picked up the book (The 5 Primary Love Languages, Gary Chapman) after numerous pointers from my guides. It is located in the coffee shop where I do my work, so I felt obliged to read it.
The premise is quite simple. There are 5 primary love languages through which people express love and affection in all relationships.
Acts of Service.
People respond to one of these, often with a secondary type of language. You can literally give somebody a million dollars but if gifts are not their primary language, it’s worthless. These love languages apply regardless of romantic relationships, as they are universal forms of communication. Your friends and business relationships are governed by these love languages. They are consciousness patterns found across all cultures and timezones.
Think about your friends and significant others, and what their primary love languages are. The most typical mismatch is husbands who spend decades fixing their homes and doing acts as an expression of love, but this does not matter if the wife is not receptive to these acts, and would prefer 15 minutes of quality time a week.
This is an ‘old age’ book, rooted in scientific research which I would normally not touch. But it’s so simple and brilliant I can’t believe I have not actualized the concepts before. I respond to physical touch and positive words, but view gifts and acts of service as meaningless and pointless. Christmas in Ireland has always been a strange experience, with pointless gift giving. Same for Valentines, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day. Why give somebody a physical item, when all that matters is the energy behind it? All these pagan holidays are trivial and there is no meaningful communication.
However, I now realize communication is dependent on the other person’s language, not just mine. The mode of expression is critical to the end meaning, and we need to find ways to connect with others in their language, or we will be misinterpreted.
One other Love Language, and perhaps the most important, is that of your Presence. You need to be there for people, especially in times of crisis. You need to show up. All people place great emphasis on this. I’ve always thought of funerals and marriages as pagan rituals conducted by primitive humans, and never bothered with them. Now I will show up more often, to funerals at least, to honor the living.
So, are you interested in learning all the different love languages? Would you like to be fluent in all the languages that really matter? Only one of the love languages needs verbal expression in a native tongue.
Get good at knowing what matters to people, and you will become a better communicator.
By giving the other what they want/need, you will automatically receive what you want need, as a Universal Law.